Returning to Goodwill – The Cartman Saga

EricCartmanA few days ago I told you about my Adventures at Goodwill with my buddy Zach. In that story I made mention of a fella who resembled a real life version of Cartman of South Park fame. Well, today Zach and I returned to Goodwill to see if we could find any more great deals and guess who was there again? You guessed it – the same fella!

Today wasn’t a great day in particular for finding anything good that we could flip for much profit. So as I like to do on a regular basis, I shifted gears from searching for items to resell, to people watching. It’s true. I absolutely love to watch people for some reason. I don’t judge them necessarily. I like to challenge myself and try to think outside the box a little. I try to understand what makes people tick; why they do what they do.

While I was scanning the crowd I came across this character who I’ve affectionately dubbed Cartman. He was doing his normal thing, sifting through the bins just like everyone else. But the one thing different about him was he was sweating profusely. Anyone who knows me, knows that I sweat a lot. It was pretty cold inside the store today. Not as cold as it was outside by any means, but definitely cold enough that I was still cold while wearing a hoodie. Anyway, it was time for them to change out the bins. Cartman was standing across from me awaiting the arrival of the new set of bins, so I took the opportunity to snap this picture.
Cartman 1After going through the new batch of bins a few times, Zach and I were walking around doing a kind of second and third sweep of the bins to make sure we didn’t miss anything small. We were also trying to kill some time because we were meeting Zach’s fiance, Ericha, for lunch. While Zach was networking with another bin searcher, I went back to people watching. I was making my rounds, seeing what people were picking up and putting in their carts when I met back up with Zach. We were walking between some bins and as I look across the way, I see Cartman again – this time with his cohort. I wasn’t quite sure what he was doing, so we walked closer to investigate. This is what I saw:
Cartman 2It was exactly what I had initially thought; Cartman was attempting to break into a safe. What tool was he using? A plug from a lamp. I watched him for a couple minutes before I finally felt compelled to say something. The poor guy was sweating profusely at this point because he was putting forth so much effort. He was dead set on getting into this safe with just a plug. So I asked him to shake the safe a little. He did as I requested and shook the safe a little bit. I said, “Ah, just what I thought. I can tell you what is in that safe if you’d like.” He was very interested in knowing what was in the safe, so he asked me what I thought was in there. I said, “It’s clearly full of sailboat fuel.” He looked at me, befuddled. Then I think the light finally went off and he said, “There’s something in here.” Apparently the kid didn’t think air was ‘something’. The poor lad began digging at the plastic surrounding the number dial using the lamp plug. I told him there was a very slim chance he was going to break into a safe using such a small device; he was going to need some wedges and a sledge hammer. That didn’t deter him in the least though…he continued his battle with the safe.
Cartman 3Zach and I left shortly after that so that we could meet Ericha for lunch. We did return to this Goodwill one last time before we left town though. Cartman wasn’t there, but the safe was. Someone had drilled the lock and opened it up. Guess what was inside…a whole bunch of sail boat fuel! Until next time…


About John Shue

Just a normal guy in pursuit of happiness.
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One Response to Returning to Goodwill – The Cartman Saga

  1. subpop77 says:

    Screw you guys I don’t have a home!

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